In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Me Time.” It has spurred me to admit that I have neglected the ‘Me time’ of blogging. It has been a while since I created a new post but its like missing a friend….a couple of day is normal in between coffee dates or meeting up, but a couple of months and you really do put pressure on a friendship to last the course.
My humblest apologies to my followers as I haven’t given myself even a small amount of time for ‘Me time’ or in fact ‘you time’ to nurture the new shoots of friendships that began to grow at the start of writing my blog.
Someone asked me the other day about blogging and stated that they too had concerns about them being interesting or engaging…. I admit it would be impossible to be both those things daily but, as always, I told her the main purpose of my blog was to be honest. To show me as me with my flaws but also to show you my strengths.
It was during this time that I realised I hadn’t watered my shoots for a while, or connected with those people who have so kindly read, responded and commented on my blog.
So today, I have made some tome for me to write to you to thank you for sticking around and that I hope to start giving myself time to nurture these friendships and hopefully create space to produce more.
How do you make time for you?
On Tuesday Leanne Cole featured images of her cat. The photos were so descriptive that I thought I would do the same with my dog. As I started to take photos I was looking at my 13 year old dog and wondered whether the pics could also feature in the Daily Post Photo Challenge this week entitled ‘Endurance’.
As I took the macro shots of his whitened mouth I thanked him for the endurance he has and the loyalty he has given me as a thank you for rescuing him 10 years ago.
I looked at his paws as he slept and thought of all the wonderful walks that we have had that I might not have done if he wasn’t in my life.
Not everyone is a dog lover, I get that, some choose to have children, I choose to have a dog. My dog rescued me at times when I didn’t know I needed rescuing.
His mannerisms and behaviours have taught me many things about control, upmanship and perception. They intuitively know whether a person/dog is friend or foe and I have always envied the sniff of the bottom to distinguish which!
He has been my teacher, my friend and his endurance to myself and my family has been outstanding. Thanks to Leanne for helping me be grateful for my pooch today and for inspiring me to photograph him in a very different light.
Had a brilliant day and it has finished as it started, with friends. It’s been a while since I have felt so self indulgent without the feeling of ‘shoulds’.
Today I wanted to spend time with new and old friends who make me feel good about me.
For many years I have held on to ‘friendships’ through obligation. When relationships had clearly run their course, (I see today) I would drag them on wringing out the very last drop. I would always be the rescuer as it gave me a purpose, and when I was no longer needed, I then became a victim who persecuted.
Today I spend time with people who, like me, have travelled the distance. People who have been to very dark places, but who have survived. Despite adversity, and probably because of it, the new and old friends have a greater understanding and compassion for themselves and others. We, together have bonds that are beautiful rather than the chains of obligation of previous years.
Self indulgence today is a gift, to truly allow yourself a day to just be. A day where you can eat cake without worrying about the scales or sit drinking tea knowing that whatever chores need doing, can wait until tomorrow.
What a blessing not to rush through life and to be able to witness the joys of animals or the colours of flowers. Doesn’t this self indulgence sound perfect? Well it is. Just for today.
A perfect day today, a reminder of what lies ahead in my journey from rat race to creativity.
Just a quick post today. Had a great day with fellow artists and crafters. A pure, uninterrupted day of complete bliss. How wonderful to have the opportunity to complete give a whole day to generate new ideas amongst such creativity. I am so pleased with what I have produced and just wanted to share these card designs with you. Have you found your bliss?
Enjoy, see you tomorrow! Xx
What a day! It amazes me at times how much faith people have in me as a person. As a friend I am considered loyal, honest and loving. As an artist, I have been considered gifted, talented and original. As an Educator I have been given the accolade of ‘Outstanding’ or as my students say ‘The best’. It’s wonderful.
I’ve tried dressing up my new business into a catchy name, creating a brand thinking that I, in myself, am not enough. I have come a long way since leaving the rat race but so much of myself hid in the labels assigned to me. I was a teacher, a behaviour manager, a colleague for 13 years and when I decided to leave that role, I floundered for a while not really knowing what or who I was.
I know I’m probably not alone in feeling this way. It has taken me a while to find happiness without being dependant on the social status and pride wrapped up in being a professional tutor in FE. I felt naked for a while but thankfully over time I have dressed myself in new clothes.
I have been guided by people who knew how to handle and be gentle with this chrysalis. The caterpillar who needed time to lick her wounds and to re-evaluate her life. I needed to reassess what was important to me and to develop the strength of becoming strong so I was able to break the shell and emerge into the person I am today.
There is still work for me to do and tonight has been the start by getting rid of the gimmicks, the names that hide me as me and get to the core of who and what I am. I am Becky Field and this is the start of my story.
If you have never read the book ‘the woman who went to bed for a year’ by Sue Townsend, then look away now.
This book appealed to me initially because I was fascinated about how a woman could go to bed for a year, albeit fictionally. The thought of doing such a thing quite often goes through my mind I must admit. Sometimes it feels far safer for myself and others for me to stay in bed and keep my mouth shut but sadly, I am not a kept woman. My man needs feeding and dog needs walking.
The book is humourous in many parts but after a while the seriousness of the mental decline of Eva becomes apparent as she barricaded herself in her bedroom and minimised contact with her family and friends.
Towards the end of the book she asks someone to board the inside of her window after her view of a beautiful tree was destroyed when it was cut down. Her contact with the outside world then became so minimal that she relied on people to feed her through a small hole in the door and she lived in darkness.
Eventually strangers became that concerned for her welfare that the door was eventually kicked in, her mother bathed her and she was sat in front of a fire. It wasn’t until the end when she said ‘It’s kindness, isn’t it? Simple kindness’ that I truly felt so sad.
Call me ridiculous, but isn’t that what we all want people to be? Kind? It costs nothing. I often said to my students that manners cost nothing and treat others like you would want to be treated. Not because I’m a saint, but because I would expect to be treated with decency.
Why do I write about this today? Well it has nothing to do with my work but more to do with me and the journey I’ve been on. Today I met with someone. A prearranged get together. I sat, bought tea and cakes and watched my ‘friend’ crochet. Just simple kindness would have been to just give me 30 mins of time. Not to listen to a monologue (which I can do when I’m in self) but to share in the experience of being together.
When I first read the last line in this book I looked back on my expectations of people closest to me. I realised that many of my disappointments have been because I expected kindness from them. Did I expect too much?
When the tree was cut down in the book, Eva gave up hope. My interpretation was that the tree symbolised to Eva the beauty around her despite her life’s experiences. When this had gone, so had Eva.
Eventually she allowed herself to be rescued as ‘Life was too difficult to travel alone’.
Thankfully I have met friends who are kind, together we give our time to each other. After periods of darkness and isolation (usually when some of my best artwork comes about) I have been rescued by their kindness and concern for my well being. I have been carried through difficult times and bathed in love when all I wanted was simple kindness.
A lot of my work is a combination of metaphors and representations of periods of my life. I have a very small circle of trust and quite often I find it easier to explain my art and the messages within than to explain my feelings. Art is a remarkable tool in which to speak. It gives me a voice when I need it most and more importantly it is always kind and generous. For that I am truly grateful.
Life is too difficult to travel alone and I am grateful to be travelling it with others who feel the same. Welcome to all who read. Keep with me!