Disheartened

Well I’ve finished my 2nd craft fair and I must say I have come back totally demoralised. I’ve received comments such as ….. ‘Treat it as an experience,’ ‘the trouble is you have too much of YOU invested in your work’ or ‘different meat for different stalls’ but I can’t help but feel disheartened.

It’s not that I don’t believe in my work, but that I am still trying to find the angle to pursue or avenue to take as a long term pursuit. I’m not looking for sympathy or consolation, I’m not really sure what I need to make me feel better but I am going to do what I usually do and that is rest, recharge and reassess. Sometimes I just need to sit and think, reflect and trust. It’s the trust part that I find very difficult. But that’s another post!

Thanks for reading. Hugs and love xxxx20141018-234411-85451713.jpg

An extra hour to your day!

Good news — another hour has just been added to every 24-hour day (don’t ask us how. We have powers). How do you use those extra sixty minutes?

Wow, how many times have I wanted to fit more into a day, what would I do? To be honest, I would commit myself to a daily blog rather than just random posts. I would take time to learn from experiences bloggers and try to make my blog interesting, visual and find ways to get people to interact.

I read many blogs and follow ones that resonate with me and I would love to be as engaging as they are.

For example I received a comment on my post ‘Goodnight Shirley’ from Storyshucker. I was privileged then to start following him after reading ‘write it for her anyway’ I have also become a regular follower of Leanne Cole Photography and have had some of my photographs featured in her fabulous weekly posts for Monochrome Madness. Through this blog I have been introduced to photographers that I would never have known before and been encouraged to venture into new creativity with my camera.

As a newcomer to the world of blogging both of these experiences have encouraged me. However with that extra hour I would learn all about pingbacks, learn more about what helps to engage others and enjoy the experience rather than worrying if anyone is reading my blog, or asking myself such questions as; are they interested? Have I said too much? Was that post too negative? Too confusing? Too vague?

Or maybe I would just sleep that extra hour as I’m exhausted from questioning my every word. It would be lovely wouldn’t it?

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Right place, right time

Sometime you just have to be in the right place at the right time. This morning I was enamoured by a dolphin swimming in the sea, it’s not an everyday occurrence here in England but today the performance was just for me.

The day ended much as it began with being in the right place at the right time. I hadn’t planned to capture photographs today but the opportunities were there. Not only were they there, but I took them.

I was reminded today of going that extra distance to get the fullness of what can be seen. Life can be like that. You can go so far, taste the sweetness but then stop often thinking that either you don’t deserve any more, or that to go further would spoil the experience. However, by going further, your perception can change, the sunset deepen and the richness becomes richer. Why settle when you can have more?

Moving from the ‘rat race’ into creativity has opened up a whole new world. By challenging myself to enter into more experiences I am learning more about myself, others and that life can really get brighten if you just go that little bit further! X

Why not comment on where have you found yourself in the right place at right time and share your photos xX

Here are mine to start you off. Enjoy the views! Xx

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Am I ugly? (Meaghan Ramsey)

Although I am prone to comparing myself to others I am glad to say that I don’t look at airbrushed images in magazines and covet appearances of the rich and famous.

What I have learnt over the past few years is that it certainly is what you do that counts. You can have all the riches you could ever dream of, yet never have enough. You can have all your needs met, yet snatch all you can from those who are deemed to be your ‘loved ones’.

I was introduced to the word ‘congruence’ during a course about 9 years ago. I watched as the tutor drew two lines horizontally, one on top of the other. I remember this as a visual learner and I also remember the meaning. What you say and what you do must follow the same pattern, the same synchronicity.

You must be who you say you are, do what you say you do. Be congruent.

I spent years comparing myself to others, so many in fact, that I still fall into that trap. However, today I acknowledge that I am doing it, talk it through and see what area in my own life that I need to focus on and be grateful for the person I am today.

I hope I am synchronised, congruent and honest. I know for a fact that I am far from ugly. X

Creativity in the rat race!

Well it is all change again for me and I have been fortunate to take up the offer of a temporary job. I have referred to my previous employment as ‘rat race’ this job, is a total change from that. I am surrounded by people whose aim is to help people feel better about themselves. The whole feel of the clinic is about serenity, peace and pleasure.

I am a receptionist which enables me to speak to new people, find out their stories and feel blessed to be a small part in the transformation of someones feelings. Creativity is like that, being a part of a community where expression and self fulfillment is at the forefront. This role is enabling me to continue to be creative whilst giving me the safety net that keeps the wolves from the door.

A job is what you make it and already I have brought creativity into the clinic by staging and photographing products.

celebrate firm skin Celebrate Radiance celebrate smooth skinmurad products

However, I have also realised that I can get too comfortable, too quickly, I become familiar and because I am so content in what I am doing, I am enthusiastic and worry about being too much. Feedback or suggestions would help if you have time as this self discovery and forming of a new identity takes time, moulding  and manipulating so experiences from others will help me!

Thanks for reading

Becky X

Say it anyway

Write It For Her Anyway.

Wow, Stuart liked my last post ‘Goodnight Shirley’ which led me to read this wonderful tribute he wrote to his ‘nannie’. The post talks about wishing you had said such words whilst the person you write for, was still alive. How often have we used those well known words….if only.

Life can be fleeting and it takes something drastic or sudden to make you realise that. It can be a roller coaster at times and take unexpected twists and turns. It’s a common cry of the grieving person, ‘if only I had……’

‘Write it for her anyway’ reminds me of a question I was asked when I missed my mum terribly weeks after she died suddenly. ‘What would you want to say to your mum if she were here?’ I was asked by a counsellor whilst I sat facing an empty chair. ‘Imagine your mum was sat in that chair, what do you want to say to her?’

‘I did it mum!’ I said.

Such a powerful position to be in when you are desperate to just feel the love of a lost one and listen to their voice. ‘What do you imagine she would say to you Becky?’ He then asked? At this point I felt loved as I remembered my mum with her ever comforting voice saying… ‘I knew you would!’

Words can always be written or said. It eradicates the ‘if onlys’ and gets rid of that awful sense of guilt about the unspoken words or unfulfilled promises.

Today I can sit with my mum and dad and speak to them as if they were here. I can imagine my fathers sarcastic tones or expletives and imagine my mum laughing at some of my thoughts or behaviours. In truth I can face an empty chair and talk to them anyway…. And if I truly listen, I can hear their response.

Thanks to Stuart, I have remembered that this is something I can do and it’s healing power is amazing.

Goodnight Shirley <3

Apologies for the absence of my posts. There has been a bereavement among my ‘family’. It is difficult to know what words to say, to be sad for the loss or happy that the person who has gone has no more pain. Words seem insignificant and everyday happenings  seem a little duller, almost an inconvenience. You struggle to know the right way to say goodbye or to comfort those still here.

My post tonight is for my ‘sister’ and for the friends and family in my ‘chosen family’ who will miss her terribly. Bless them all.

Death is Nothing at All by Henry Scott Holland  

Death is nothing at all.
I have only slipped away to the next room.
I am I and you are you.
Whatever we were to each other,
That, we still are.

Call me by my old familiar name.
Speak to me in the easy way
which you always used.
Put no difference into your tone.
Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow.

Laugh as we always laughed
at the little jokes we enjoyed together.
Play, smile, think of me. Pray for me.
Let my name be ever the household word
that it always was.
Let it be spoken without effect.
Without the trace of a shadow on it.

Life means all that it ever meant.
It is the same that it ever was.
There is absolute unbroken continuity.
Why should I be out of mind
because I am out of sight?

I am but waiting for you.
For an interval.
Somewhere. Very near.
Just around the corner.

All is well.

Filtered mumblings

The Daily Post today asks you to write for 10 minutes, without pauses and editing. So here goes.

I sit here now with 10 minutes of unedited and unfiltered mumblings. It’s a difficult thing to do. To not think about the consequences of what you may write or the level of honesty that may tumble from your fingertips is a good thing to ask to do. I have done this before, on,y on a larger scale. It has been known to me as ’emptying my head’.

Quite often the thoughts that take up free rent in my head are totally disproportionate to what is reality. I quite selfishly think of myself most of the time and my concerns. even that, in itself, is a aspect of myself that I don’t freely admit. It’s hard not to pause with the thoughts of should I, shouldn’t I or to correct what you have just wrote.

Many years ago as part of my healing process I had to write ‘unsent letters’. They were unfiltered because I had thoughts, feeling and fears that dominated my life, not in the ‘psychiatric’ way just that bogged me down or dominated my ways of thinking and feeling. As part of my recovery I wrote these letters. I had to empty my head from the anger, sadness, questions and lies that I had believed or thought for such a long time.

It had a very powerful effect.

I got rid of the awful feelings that had dominated me for years, sometimes decades and felt for the first time a sense of freedom. I was shown the truth of situations and I could see clearly what I couldn’t see before, it truly was an awakening. Like a flower emerging from a constrained bud. I was free.

I recommend it to anyone who has things they need to say or want to say to anyone. They are unsent for a reason. You need to empty you. Not to offload or make someone else feel dreadful. Quite often people are none the wiser to the way you feel and they live their lives free from any sense of obligation or blame. Yet creative souls walk around carrying burdens that are totally unnecessary and instead of unloading the baggage we add to it as time goes by all based on a dishonest perspective. I may not be making sense and to be honest that’s the point of the task I suppose, to see a new side to the blogger. I hope you like this side of me.

Thanks for reading.

PS excuse the grammar and punctuation. It never is my strong point with or without the pauses xx (Thank God for autocorrect :-))20141002-235004-85804798.jpg

Commercial ties

How I would just love to sit at home and craft all day but sadly bills need to be paid and money certainly doesn’t grow on trees. (So I’ve been told)

As an artist, I need to create all different types of works to suit the markets around me. I have been called the ‘Del Boy’ of the craft world as I am still finding out what works, at what doesn’t. I’m trying to shimmy into new areas of business to see what feels right and I am having a great deal of fun in the process.

Today I have created and framed some more commercial ideas to sell at local fairs. All the pieces are from different areas of my new life since leaving the rat race.

Firstly there are the empowering quotes, (my fella calls them poison pen works). These are sourced from the personal development group I have been attending since February. A great source of encouragement and the works are created from such inspiration.

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The second lot of pieces have been based around hobbies and from the great network of people I have met since joining the creative circles. I have been inspired to make more personalised gifts for Christmas rather than items that are just for the 12 days and then recycled in a car boot or yard sale (for my international followers).

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Then there are the selfish passions such as flowers that I have previously looked at and shown in my posts. The beauty in the natural environment that keeps me in the moment rather than chasing dreams or fearing the future.

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I hope that the creative juices continue to flow as I venture into more commercial projects. I spoke to a lady recently who said that, should she start to think about her hobby as a money making project, that she dries up creatively. Although I have to see ways of making money, (stuff work, let’s play) I do not want the commercial ties to suffocate my creativity.

I have so many ideas that I want to start, that this sitting around being creative is merely laying a foundation on which I can, and will, build upon. I have friends who support me, business men to guide me and a power greater opening doors for me that I can hardly wait to see what tomorrow may bring. I can’t remember feeling this way for a long time in the rat race, but today, I am grateful for all that I have. For the journey it has taken to get to where I am, I will always be grateful.