Category Archives: Gratitude

Goodnight Shirley <3

Apologies for the absence of my posts. There has been a bereavement among my ‘family’. It is difficult to know what words to say, to be sad for the loss or happy that the person who has gone has no more pain. Words seem insignificant and everyday happenings  seem a little duller, almost an inconvenience. You struggle to know the right way to say goodbye or to comfort those still here.

My post tonight is for my ‘sister’ and for the friends and family in my ‘chosen family’ who will miss her terribly. Bless them all.

Death is Nothing at All by Henry Scott Holland  

Death is nothing at all.
I have only slipped away to the next room.
I am I and you are you.
Whatever we were to each other,
That, we still are.

Call me by my old familiar name.
Speak to me in the easy way
which you always used.
Put no difference into your tone.
Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow.

Laugh as we always laughed
at the little jokes we enjoyed together.
Play, smile, think of me. Pray for me.
Let my name be ever the household word
that it always was.
Let it be spoken without effect.
Without the trace of a shadow on it.

Life means all that it ever meant.
It is the same that it ever was.
There is absolute unbroken continuity.
Why should I be out of mind
because I am out of sight?

I am but waiting for you.
For an interval.
Somewhere. Very near.
Just around the corner.

All is well.

Commercial ties

How I would just love to sit at home and craft all day but sadly bills need to be paid and money certainly doesn’t grow on trees. (So I’ve been told)

As an artist, I need to create all different types of works to suit the markets around me. I have been called the ‘Del Boy’ of the craft world as I am still finding out what works, at what doesn’t. I’m trying to shimmy into new areas of business to see what feels right and I am having a great deal of fun in the process.

Today I have created and framed some more commercial ideas to sell at local fairs. All the pieces are from different areas of my new life since leaving the rat race.

Firstly there are the empowering quotes, (my fella calls them poison pen works). These are sourced from the personal development group I have been attending since February. A great source of encouragement and the works are created from such inspiration.

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The second lot of pieces have been based around hobbies and from the great network of people I have met since joining the creative circles. I have been inspired to make more personalised gifts for Christmas rather than items that are just for the 12 days and then recycled in a car boot or yard sale (for my international followers).

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Then there are the selfish passions such as flowers that I have previously looked at and shown in my posts. The beauty in the natural environment that keeps me in the moment rather than chasing dreams or fearing the future.

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I hope that the creative juices continue to flow as I venture into more commercial projects. I spoke to a lady recently who said that, should she start to think about her hobby as a money making project, that she dries up creatively. Although I have to see ways of making money, (stuff work, let’s play) I do not want the commercial ties to suffocate my creativity.

I have so many ideas that I want to start, that this sitting around being creative is merely laying a foundation on which I can, and will, build upon. I have friends who support me, business men to guide me and a power greater opening doors for me that I can hardly wait to see what tomorrow may bring. I can’t remember feeling this way for a long time in the rat race, but today, I am grateful for all that I have. For the journey it has taken to get to where I am, I will always be grateful.

‘I’m ok!’

On The Daily Post today the post asks for us to think about the following..

‘You’ve been given the opportunity to send one message to one person you wouldn’t normally have access to (for example: the President. Kim Kardashian. A coffee grower in Ethiopia). Who’s the person you choose, and what’s the message?’

I read some responses and thought about who I would choose. Now, if I was to think with my head, I may choose someone who has world wide influence, or maybe a political figure who could make a huge difference, but I have very little knowledge about politics or war and wouldn’t be so arrogant to pretend that I had.

As ever, I listened to my heart. I would choose my mum. My mum died suddenly 8 and a half years ago, I don’t miss her with the intense grief I had at the start but I am still aware that it would be good to tell her little snippets of my life, small messages or statuses which let her know the simple message, ‘I’m ok’.

When I had bereavement counselling for my mum, the counsellor asked me what I missed about my mum. Although it was painful I told her. I missed her honesty, her laugh, her companionship, her listening ears and shoulder to cry on. In all, I missed her friendship. Then came the honesty I needed when the counsellor said… “Well your mum is gone, you now have to find these things you miss about your mum in the people you have around you.”

As harsh as it may seem to hear those words, It stopped me in the longing stage of my grief and forced me into acceptance. I had longed to have my mum back, to give her messages and let her know ‘I’m ok’, ‘I love you’ or ‘I’m sorry’, or just to tell her about my day but I knew deep down it was an impossibility, I just didn’t want to accept it.

Today I carry my mum in the friends I have around me. I have a wealth of people who hold the same values and give me love. I know I will never fully fill that hole left by the loss of my mum, but that my life will grow abundantly around the hole so the pain will lessen. For me this has been true. I give thanks every year that I haven’t been swallowed up by grief and that my life is rich because of what I’ve learnt.

When I see a robin, I see my mum and they inevitably show up when I am with people I love and care about. So what will my message be to that person that I wouldn’t normally have access to?

Simply, ‘Mum, I’m ok’ xxx

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Women’s best friend

On Tuesday Leanne Cole featured images of her cat. The photos were so descriptive that I thought I would do the same with my dog. As I started to take photos I was looking at my 13 year old dog and wondered whether the pics could also feature in the Daily Post Photo Challenge this week entitled ‘Endurance’.

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As I took the macro shots of his whitened mouth I thanked him for the endurance he has and the loyalty he has given me as a thank you for rescuing him 10 years ago.

I looked at his paws as he slept and thought of all the wonderful walks that we have had that I might not have done if he wasn’t in my life.

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Not everyone is a dog lover, I get that, some choose to have children, I choose to have a dog. My dog rescued me at times when I didn’t know I needed rescuing.

His mannerisms and behaviours have taught me many things about control, upmanship and perception. They intuitively know whether a person/dog is friend or foe and I have always envied the sniff of the bottom to distinguish which!

He has been my teacher, my friend and his endurance to myself and my family has been outstanding. Thanks to Leanne for helping me be grateful for my pooch today and for inspiring me to photograph him in a very different light.

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Thoughts are like seeds that grow in your mind

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I don’t know about you but I have been brought up to be self sufficient. Currently it kills me to be reliantly on others, waiting for phone calls to work in the rat race so that I have the funds to be creative. I was going to entitle this ‘spinning plates’ as I feel that’s what I am trying to do.

I want to do so much and there is not enough time, or money, to do all the things I want. I have exciting plans and yet know that there are some ‘shoulds’ that I have to do first before I can surround myself with loads of happiness and be creative.

I haven’t always felt like this. I have had jobs with lots of money and yet haven’t had the strength or motivation to do anything due to unhappiness and ill health. When I took the decision to leave a well paid job, I knew it was absolutely necessary for my life! I will never regret making that decision. Today I have a good life and I love it but unfortunately I carry with me that financial insecurity of my childhood which can tarnish my view today.

Why is it that the only negative in my life is often at the forefront? When I look at the reality of my life, I have everything I need. Thankfully I know that these feelings are fleeting and when I start to work on my creative tasks I get lost. The plates spin by themselves and all is well. When I concentrate on only one aspect of my  life, quite often it can become immense and impossible to control. It grows like a huge beast over powering the positive and whitewashing hope. It loses all sense of proportion.

“Thoughts are like seeds that grow in your mind… once they take root and are given light they will flourish. It is up to you to chose whether they will be weeds or Flowers.” Kim Bayne

What I need to do is to keep everything in its right place and its right size. Count my blessing and focus on the positives in my life. I need to surround myself with flowers and bask in their beauty. Until next time X

 

Self indulgence

Had a brilliant day and it has finished as it started, with friends. It’s been a while since I have felt so self indulgent without the feeling of ‘shoulds’.

Today I wanted to spend time with new and old friends who make me feel good about me.

For many years I have held on to ‘friendships’ through obligation. When relationships had clearly run their course, (I see today) I would drag them on wringing out the very last drop. I would always be the rescuer as it gave me a purpose, and when I was no longer needed, I then became a victim who persecuted.

Today I spend time with people who, like me, have travelled the distance. People who have been to very dark places, but who have survived. Despite adversity, and probably because of it, the new and old friends have a greater understanding and compassion for themselves and others. We, together have bonds that are beautiful rather than the chains of obligation of previous years.

Self indulgence today is a gift, to truly allow yourself a day to just be. A day where you can eat cake without worrying about the scales or sit drinking tea knowing that whatever chores need doing, can wait until tomorrow.

What a blessing not to rush through life and to be able to witness the joys of animals or the colours of flowers. Doesn’t this self indulgence sound perfect? Well it is. Just for today.

A perfect day today, a reminder of what lies ahead in my journey from rat race to creativity.

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Beyond the weeds

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Firstly thank you for all the likes on yesterdays post on ‘Adventure’, It was lovely to be able to share some positivity. Time for some more?

I do not profess to be someone who spends her day pondering the meaning of life, but when I am tuned into life and my awareness is heightened, for some reason I always look for a message. I quite often learn what I should be doing this way rather than keeping myself obsessing about what ‘could be’ or ‘should be’.

Todays walk was just like that. I walked a usual walk with my dog and I always carry a camera with me. Today I noticed that a walkway had been cropped and only weeds remained. I could have put my camera aside but today I didn’t. I found some wonderful delicacies in the weeds, the shapes and forms were amazing and I started to look beyond the weeds.

The message? Look beyond the weeds.

Life may sometimes seems to be full of weeds, lack of interest, unwanted pressures of ‘shoulds’ and ‘ought to’s’. But when I truly look at the aspects of my life that truly are beautiful, the friendships I have that have a common passion for creativity, the man in my life who encourages me to be nothing more but happy, the family members who accept me for me, I have to look beyond what I may feel to the reality of my life. My life is full of delicacies that are simply beautiful. and for that I am truly thankful. What do you find when you look beyond the weeds?

Adventure

This weeks Daily Post Weekly Photo Challenge is ‘Adventure’.

Both pictures I’ve taken are of everyday life that I see daily. But these are special. How often do we underestimate what goes on in everyday life. The picture of these gents enjoying a morning stroll with their dogs. Who is having the adventure?

The second is of my dog who whilst watching over the last few days has been a blessing. Seeing his face light up when you pick up the lead ready for ‘walkies’. Every walk is an adventure. Wouldn’t it be fantastic to wake up with that sense of expectation and joy?

I certainly have a lot to learn about this word ‘adventure’ and maybe a change of perspective is in order. The adventure from Rat Race to Creativity should be seen as an adventure rather than finding it difficult to overcome the obstacles of fear.

Today, my pledge is to be ‘more dog’ and treat life as loose clothing, enjoy it for the adventure it’s meant to be.

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I finally have a voice that is mine. How brilliant is that?

It has been a busy time since I got back from holiday. Thank you for sticking with me and continuing to read. I have just read ways in which to increase my readers and thought I better keep you up to date on the creativity I have found since leaving the ‘rat race’.

Although I am just starting out as a professional Artist, I have sought confidence in asking to display my work, offering lower prices for items that will benefit my little ‘business’ and I keep venturing to try new things to see what works and what flops tremendously. I have started to re read ‘stuff work, lets play’ by John Williams and thank goodness my intravenous dose of personal development starts again tomorrow. I can not wait to gather with people who actually care about themselves and have the willingness to learn ways to develop themselves. I finally have a voice that is mine. How brilliant is that?

So I bid you goodnight and will leave you with some of my exhibited pieces. Please feel free to add comments as I am willing to learn today.

Lots of Love

Becky X

 

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No place like home

Well it’s my last day in a hotel today and thankfully tomorrow I will be heading off home. I have created a new set of greeting cards called ‘All year through’ and taken a few more photos inspired by the ‘MM27 Monochrome madness’ series of Leanne Cole as well as the lovely pictures by fellow blogger ‘Color is Law’ and ‘Leaf and Twig’.

It’s been a fantastic break and the weather has been on our side but it is always nice to get back home. Once home, I race round like a fool to hide all evidence of the holiday so not to feel low. My mind then automatically goes to work. Thankfully I have an exhibition to prepare for and I’ve been asked to go to a college to be interviewed for a potential support role.

How do I feel? I feel more excited about the exhibition than the job because I would love to be a full time Artist….. However, I’m building my (small) empire which requires patience, thought and a market, all of which I need to develop as my business develops. I love what I do and the sooner I can break completely away from the rat race the better. If I have to be part of the rat race to help finance the business (or should I call it my ‘play’ or ‘dream’) then at least I will be in a role I enjoy and know that I am making a difference.

So I will bid you goodnight as I prepare for the last night of my holiday. Wifi intact, I will leave you with some more photos. Thank you for reading and have a great weekend!!!!

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