When i initially read this I instantly thought of a suit of armour. Sadly I feel it necessary to wear this armour as I do not tend to be too resilient (yet) to what other people say or do. During my teaching I learnt from an anger management course, that what we hear may not necessarily be what was spoken, and what was seen may be misinterpreted by individual life experiences.
But as I think further about my inner most self in its true, natural form it would probably look like the Thistle Down Coat designed and made Adrian Bannon from the seeds of the thistle plant. I saw this piece on display in the Textile Hall at the Manchester Museum of Science and Industry, Manchester, UK.
It sums up the fragility of my innermost self.
Would I dare to wear it? It would probably be a case of how long would it last if I did? Until I build up my resilience to people, places and situations I would probably say no….
The armour would be more appropriate in this day and age, but if I was among friends who love me and know my true inner most self then I would wear it, and if it should break or become tangled, I know they will help me to mend.
I’ve not written for a while as I have been questioning many things in the usually way… Just asking ‘Why?’
It’s not that I have become disillusioned with blogging or my creativity but sometimes you do question why? Why? or even – ‘Whats it all about?’. As you may have read in a recent post ‘Goodbye Shirley’ I lost a friend. The question of why, when you see the love that people had for her at her funeral, evidently becomes at the forefront of your mind. The feelings of powerlessness for the family and friends left behind is overwhelming at times and leads you to question so many things sadly left unanswered.
You also begin to question why you waste precious time worrying what other people think of you or your work. it is evident that what is important to some is of no concern to others and they also probably ask the question ‘why?’ on so many of life’s little idiosyncrasies like I do.
We have been given brains to use, but the questioning can sometimes be all consuming. ‘Why?’ creates a never ending hamster wheel of unanswered quesions and can feel you leaving exhausted and without answers at, what may feel like, an endless period of time.
I have often stated that it would be good to see a blueprint of how life will be turning out. Maybe that would be ideal and we could have all the answers. The difficulty is not in the constant questioning I assume, It would not happen. What would happen would be to truly believe that things in life happen for a reason and learn to trust that the reasons will be revealed.
Well I’ve finished my 2nd craft fair and I must say I have come back totally demoralised. I’ve received comments such as ….. ‘Treat it as an experience,’ ‘the trouble is you have too much of YOU invested in your work’ or ‘different meat for different stalls’ but I can’t help but feel disheartened.
It’s not that I don’t believe in my work, but that I am still trying to find the angle to pursue or avenue to take as a long term pursuit. I’m not looking for sympathy or consolation, I’m not really sure what I need to make me feel better but I am going to do what I usually do and that is rest, recharge and reassess. Sometimes I just need to sit and think, reflect and trust. It’s the trust part that I find very difficult. But that’s another post!
Wow, how many times have I wanted to fit more into a day, what would I do? To be honest, I would commit myself to a daily blog rather than just random posts. I would take time to learn from experiences bloggers and try to make my blog interesting, visual and find ways to get people to interact.
I read many blogs and follow ones that resonate with me and I would love to be as engaging as they are.
For example I received a comment on my post ‘Goodnight Shirley’ from Storyshucker. I was privileged then to start following him after reading ‘write it for her anyway’ I have also become a regular follower of Leanne Cole Photography and have had some of my photographs featured in her fabulous weekly posts for Monochrome Madness. Through this blog I have been introduced to photographers that I would never have known before and been encouraged to venture into new creativity with my camera.
As a newcomer to the world of blogging both of these experiences have encouraged me. However with that extra hour I would learn all about pingbacks, learn more about what helps to engage others and enjoy the experience rather than worrying if anyone is reading my blog, or asking myself such questions as; are they interested? Have I said too much? Was that post too negative? Too confusing? Too vague?
Or maybe I would just sleep that extra hour as I’m exhausted from questioning my every word. It would be lovely wouldn’t it?
Sometime you just have to be in the right place at the right time. This morning I was enamoured by a dolphin swimming in the sea, it’s not an everyday occurrence here in England but today the performance was just for me.
The day ended much as it began with being in the right place at the right time. I hadn’t planned to capture photographs today but the opportunities were there. Not only were they there, but I took them.
I was reminded today of going that extra distance to get the fullness of what can be seen. Life can be like that. You can go so far, taste the sweetness but then stop often thinking that either you don’t deserve any more, or that to go further would spoil the experience. However, by going further, your perception can change, the sunset deepen and the richness becomes richer. Why settle when you can have more?
Moving from the ‘rat race’ into creativity has opened up a whole new world. By challenging myself to enter into more experiences I am learning more about myself, others and that life can really get brighten if you just go that little bit further! X
Why not comment on where have you found yourself in the right place at right time and share your photos xX
Here are mine to start you off. Enjoy the views! Xx
Although I am prone to comparing myself to others I am glad to say that I don’t look at airbrushed images in magazines and covet appearances of the rich and famous.
What I have learnt over the past few years is that it certainly is what you do that counts. You can have all the riches you could ever dream of, yet never have enough. You can have all your needs met, yet snatch all you can from those who are deemed to be your ‘loved ones’.
I was introduced to the word ‘congruence’ during a course about 9 years ago. I watched as the tutor drew two lines horizontally, one on top of the other. I remember this as a visual learner and I also remember the meaning. What you say and what you do must follow the same pattern, the same synchronicity.
You must be who you say you are, do what you say you do. Be congruent.
I spent years comparing myself to others, so many in fact, that I still fall into that trap. However, today I acknowledge that I am doing it, talk it through and see what area in my own life that I need to focus on and be grateful for the person I am today.
I hope I am synchronised, congruent and honest. I know for a fact that I am far from ugly. X
Well it is all change again for me and I have been fortunate to take up the offer of a temporary job. I have referred to my previous employment as ‘rat race’ this job, is a total change from that. I am surrounded by people whose aim is to help people feel better about themselves. The whole feel of the clinic is about serenity, peace and pleasure.
I am a receptionist which enables me to speak to new people, find out their stories and feel blessed to be a small part in the transformation of someones feelings. Creativity is like that, being a part of a community where expression and self fulfillment is at the forefront. This role is enabling me to continue to be creative whilst giving me the safety net that keeps the wolves from the door.
A job is what you make it and already I have brought creativity into the clinic by staging and photographing products.
However, I have also realised that I can get too comfortable, too quickly, I become familiar and because I am so content in what I am doing, I am enthusiastic and worry about being too much. Feedback or suggestions would help if you have time as this self discovery and forming of a new identity takes time, moulding and manipulating so experiences from others will help me!
Again, a privilege to be featured amongst some amazing photographers. It is not my main medium but this weekly post makes me more observant to the wonderful natural surroundings and everyday objects. It makes me grateful to be courageous enough to try new things and get involved in the creative world of blogging. Why don’t you try it?
Wow, Stuart liked my last post ‘Goodnight Shirley’ which led me to read this wonderful tribute he wrote to his ‘nannie’. The post talks about wishing you had said such words whilst the person you write for, was still alive. How often have we used those well known words….if only.
Life can be fleeting and it takes something drastic or sudden to make you realise that. It can be a roller coaster at times and take unexpected twists and turns. It’s a common cry of the grieving person, ‘if only I had……’
‘Write it for her anyway’ reminds me of a question I was asked when I missed my mum terribly weeks after she died suddenly. ‘What would you want to say to your mum if she were here?’ I was asked by a counsellor whilst I sat facing an empty chair. ‘Imagine your mum was sat in that chair, what do you want to say to her?’
‘I did it mum!’ I said.
Such a powerful position to be in when you are desperate to just feel the love of a lost one and listen to their voice. ‘What do you imagine she would say to you Becky?’ He then asked? At this point I felt loved as I remembered my mum with her ever comforting voice saying… ‘I knew you would!’
Words can always be written or said. It eradicates the ‘if onlys’ and gets rid of that awful sense of guilt about the unspoken words or unfulfilled promises.
Today I can sit with my mum and dad and speak to them as if they were here. I can imagine my fathers sarcastic tones or expletives and imagine my mum laughing at some of my thoughts or behaviours. In truth I can face an empty chair and talk to them anyway…. And if I truly listen, I can hear their response.
Thanks to Stuart, I have remembered that this is something I can do and it’s healing power is amazing.
Apologies for the absence of my posts. There has been a bereavement among my ‘family’. It is difficult to know what words to say, to be sad for the loss or happy that the person who has gone has no more pain. Words seem insignificant and everyday happenings seem a little duller, almost an inconvenience. You struggle to know the right way to say goodbye or to comfort those still here.
My post tonight is for my ‘sister’ and for the friends and family in my ‘chosen family’ who will miss her terribly. Bless them all.
Death is Nothing at All by Henry Scott Holland
Death is nothing at all.
I have only slipped away to the next room.
I am I and you are you.
Whatever we were to each other,
That, we still are.
Call me by my old familiar name.
Speak to me in the easy way
which you always used.
Put no difference into your tone.
Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow.
Laugh as we always laughed
at the little jokes we enjoyed together.
Play, smile, think of me. Pray for me.
Let my name be ever the household word
that it always was.
Let it be spoken without effect.
Without the trace of a shadow on it.
Life means all that it ever meant.
It is the same that it ever was.
There is absolute unbroken continuity.
Why should I be out of mind
because I am out of sight?
I am but waiting for you.
For an interval.
Somewhere. Very near.
Just around the corner.